Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Monday, February 11, 2008
Philosophy
Hoser attributes to Scott Adams the following:
Dance like it hurts.
Love like you need money.
Work when people are watching.
Dance like it hurts.
Love like you need money.
Work when people are watching.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Dzeborah
It's a girl!
(okay, fine. so they named her Izabella, but i will insist on calling her Dzeborah.)
welcome, little one.
(okay, fine. so they named her Izabella, but i will insist on calling her Dzeborah.)
welcome, little one.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
A reasonable facsimile
Alternative Reality TV
Illustrations by Dan Goldman
Friday Night Lights
By Mindy Kaling and Ryan Koh, writers from The Office
Over the past 12 episodes . . .
The Dillon Panthers hit a rough patch: Smash punched a white guy and got suspended, Riggins fell in with a meth dealer, and Matt had his heart broken. Coach and Tami fought about baby-rearing duties. Lyla was born again, and Tyra continued to be tall.
EPISODE 13: “The Big Game”
It’s the sixth-to-last game of the season and the stakes could not be higher. Unfortunately, three of the best players have gone missing. With four seconds left before the game, they show up, and the Panthers win by a small margin.
EPISODE 14: “Play-offs”
The team prepares for the play-offs. The stakes are unbearably high. Lyla and Tyra run into each other in the supermarket and get into a fight; Lyla is rich and Tyra is poor. As it happens, everyone else is in the supermarket, too and has taken sides on the matter, roughly along class lines. Also, Riggins has gone missing. But Saracen is no longer missing, and he leads the team to victory by a small margin.
EPISODE 15: “Coach, I Can Do This”
With the stakes dangerously high, the mayor cancels the game, but the rivalry between Lyla and Tyra goes on. Lyla is pretty in a pristine way, Tyra in a rough-hewn way, both appealing. Who will win the heart of quarterback Jason Street, or bad boy Riggins (both appealing)? At the Taylors’, Coach and Tami can’t see eye to eye. Coach tries to balance work and family, while Tami wants to balance family and work. The team defies the mayor and plays Odessa, uniting the town again.
EPISODE 16: “The Semis”
Flags are flown at half-mast in a day of mourning for the Panthers’ overtime loss. Coach Taylor’s daughter Julie robs the Dillon Applebee’s. “I love you, Jules,” he says, “but you just don’t rob Applebee’s.”
And for the SEASON FINALE . . . “The Bowl”
The governor of Texas wagers the state’s electoral votes on the outcome of a Panthers scrimmage. Before the game, an exhausted Coach Taylor simply paraphrases Bill Pullman’s speech from Independence Day. The varsity squad, uninspired, heads into the fourth quarter tied with JV at 14 before the events pictured below. With Riggins’s heroism, the integrity of the presidential election is saved—but meanwhile, Julie has gone missing.
/// EXT. PANTHER FOOTBALL FIELD ///
SCENE 1
With only seconds remaining, RIGGINS dives over the offensive and defensive lines into the end zone.
ANNOUNCER: (offscreen) . . . And Riggins’s gutsy dive puts the Panthers ahead 20 to 14! But it looks like he got shaken up on the play. He’s not getting up.
SCENE 2
ANNOUNCER: Let’s hope Riggins is all right, because there’s just something about him that is very attractive.
A DOCTOR kneels beside RIGGINS.
DOCTOR: This looks bad. I’ll have to cut off his jersey.
SCENE 3
The jersey is cut away to reveal RIGGINS’s abs—instead of a six-pack, it’s a twelve-pack.
DOCTOR: Oh my God.
COACH TAYLOR: What is it, Doctor?
DOCTOR: There are too many abs here!
On the sidelines, LYLA and TYRA burst into tears.
SCENE 4
We see RIGGINS, his shirt shredded, waking, then getting . . .
RIGGINS: I wanna play.
Behind him is a flapping AMERICAN FLAG.
RADIO D.J.: (Playing in the car as COACH drives home) And they went on to win the game. The odds were against them, but they did it. Every single person pulled his own weight, and the weight of his teammates, and the weight of the town, and they did it. By a small margin.
Illustrations by Dan Goldman
Friday Night Lights
By Mindy Kaling and Ryan Koh, writers from The Office
Over the past 12 episodes . . .
The Dillon Panthers hit a rough patch: Smash punched a white guy and got suspended, Riggins fell in with a meth dealer, and Matt had his heart broken. Coach and Tami fought about baby-rearing duties. Lyla was born again, and Tyra continued to be tall.
EPISODE 13: “The Big Game”
It’s the sixth-to-last game of the season and the stakes could not be higher. Unfortunately, three of the best players have gone missing. With four seconds left before the game, they show up, and the Panthers win by a small margin.
EPISODE 14: “Play-offs”
The team prepares for the play-offs. The stakes are unbearably high. Lyla and Tyra run into each other in the supermarket and get into a fight; Lyla is rich and Tyra is poor. As it happens, everyone else is in the supermarket, too and has taken sides on the matter, roughly along class lines. Also, Riggins has gone missing. But Saracen is no longer missing, and he leads the team to victory by a small margin.
EPISODE 15: “Coach, I Can Do This”
With the stakes dangerously high, the mayor cancels the game, but the rivalry between Lyla and Tyra goes on. Lyla is pretty in a pristine way, Tyra in a rough-hewn way, both appealing. Who will win the heart of quarterback Jason Street, or bad boy Riggins (both appealing)? At the Taylors’, Coach and Tami can’t see eye to eye. Coach tries to balance work and family, while Tami wants to balance family and work. The team defies the mayor and plays Odessa, uniting the town again.
EPISODE 16: “The Semis”
Flags are flown at half-mast in a day of mourning for the Panthers’ overtime loss. Coach Taylor’s daughter Julie robs the Dillon Applebee’s. “I love you, Jules,” he says, “but you just don’t rob Applebee’s.”
And for the SEASON FINALE . . . “The Bowl”
The governor of Texas wagers the state’s electoral votes on the outcome of a Panthers scrimmage. Before the game, an exhausted Coach Taylor simply paraphrases Bill Pullman’s speech from Independence Day. The varsity squad, uninspired, heads into the fourth quarter tied with JV at 14 before the events pictured below. With Riggins’s heroism, the integrity of the presidential election is saved—but meanwhile, Julie has gone missing.
/// EXT. PANTHER FOOTBALL FIELD ///
SCENE 1
With only seconds remaining, RIGGINS dives over the offensive and defensive lines into the end zone.
ANNOUNCER: (offscreen) . . . And Riggins’s gutsy dive puts the Panthers ahead 20 to 14! But it looks like he got shaken up on the play. He’s not getting up.
SCENE 2
ANNOUNCER: Let’s hope Riggins is all right, because there’s just something about him that is very attractive.
A DOCTOR kneels beside RIGGINS.
DOCTOR: This looks bad. I’ll have to cut off his jersey.
SCENE 3
The jersey is cut away to reveal RIGGINS’s abs—instead of a six-pack, it’s a twelve-pack.
DOCTOR: Oh my God.
COACH TAYLOR: What is it, Doctor?
DOCTOR: There are too many abs here!
On the sidelines, LYLA and TYRA burst into tears.
SCENE 4
We see RIGGINS, his shirt shredded, waking, then getting . . .
RIGGINS: I wanna play.
Behind him is a flapping AMERICAN FLAG.
RADIO D.J.: (Playing in the car as COACH drives home) And they went on to win the game. The odds were against them, but they did it. Every single person pulled his own weight, and the weight of his teammates, and the weight of the town, and they did it. By a small margin.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Obama for America
BeX wrote:
I'm sensing what his new slogan should be: "Amazing. Lanky. Hey, want some brownies, America?"
DJ wrote:
*tragically misunderstanding what's at stake, the potheads of america turn out for obama in droves*
I'm sensing what his new slogan should be: "Amazing. Lanky. Hey, want some brownies, America?"
DJ wrote:
*tragically misunderstanding what's at stake, the potheads of america turn out for obama in droves*
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Yes, we can
Photo links to www.dipdive.com.
It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation.
Yes we can.
It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail toward freedom.
Yes we can.
It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness.
Yes we can.
It was the call of workers who organized; women who reached for the ballots; a President who chose the moon as our new frontier; and a King who took us to the mountaintop and pointed the way to the Promised Land.
Yes we can to justice and equality.
Yes we can to opportunity and prosperity.
Yes we can heal this nation.
Yes we can repair this world.
Yes we can.
We know the battle ahead will be long, but always remember that no matter what obstacles stand in our way, nothing can stand in the way of the power of millions of voices calling for change.
We have been told we cannot do this by a chorus of cynics. . . . They will only grow louder and more dissonant. . . . We've been asked to pause for a reality check. We've been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope.
But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope.
Now the hopes of the little girl who goes to a crumbling school in Dillon are the same as the dreams of the boy who learns on the streets of LA; we will remember that there is something happening in America; that we are not as divided as our politics suggests; that we are one people; we are one nation; and together, we will begin the next great chapter in the American story with three words that will ring from coast to coast; from sea to shining sea---
Yes. We. Can.
Friday, February 1, 2008
Ooh!
Jerf wrote:
C-Matt announced this afternoon that T. Kennedy endorsing Obama was "like King Arthur coming back to crown Robin Hood." I don't EVEN know what to do with that statement.
Ooo. State of the Union is on the telly. Must imbibe.
DJ wrote:
HORRIFYING VISUAL: *democratic candidates in tights*
Jerf wrote:
I think Barry could totally carry it off. Edward Kennedy, however . . .
Mr. DJ wrote:
Check out http://www.youbama.com/. Good stuff.
DJ wrote:
A WARNING TO MY PEEPS: in addition to some amazing barry footage that makes me want to weep, there is some serious hillary hateration. it's a little bit sad. so, you'll have to cherry pick your experience at barryTV (tm).
Jerf wrote:
The site was a little wonky last night when I tried to access it.
Do you all think that the site would be a good venue for DJ and me to do an interpretive dance routine inspired by our feelings regarding the campaign? It would be titled, "Change we can believe in: Michael Flatley style!"
MR. DJ: . . .
Mr. DJ wrote:
Given my passion for interpretive dance, I must beincluded. Needless to say, it would be a great venue.
Jerf wrote:
Fantastic! How do you feel about leotards?
DJ wrote:
*snort*
C-Matt announced this afternoon that T. Kennedy endorsing Obama was "like King Arthur coming back to crown Robin Hood." I don't EVEN know what to do with that statement.
Ooo. State of the Union is on the telly. Must imbibe.
DJ wrote:
HORRIFYING VISUAL: *democratic candidates in tights*
Jerf wrote:
I think Barry could totally carry it off. Edward Kennedy, however . . .
Mr. DJ wrote:
Check out http://www.youbama.com/. Good stuff.
DJ wrote:
A WARNING TO MY PEEPS: in addition to some amazing barry footage that makes me want to weep, there is some serious hillary hateration. it's a little bit sad. so, you'll have to cherry pick your experience at barryTV (tm).
Jerf wrote:
The site was a little wonky last night when I tried to access it.
Do you all think that the site would be a good venue for DJ and me to do an interpretive dance routine inspired by our feelings regarding the campaign? It would be titled, "Change we can believe in: Michael Flatley style!"
MR. DJ: . . .
Mr. DJ wrote:
Given my passion for interpretive dance, I must beincluded. Needless to say, it would be a great venue.
Jerf wrote:
Fantastic! How do you feel about leotards?
DJ wrote:
*snort*
Buzz kill
Jerf wrote:
Did you all ever make snow ice cream when you were little? You take a couple of scoops of fresh snow, add vanilla and sugar, and eat up. Granted, that is a good way to get worms. . . .
Who's who
Jerf wrote:
I believe that I just sighted Buddy Garrity in the audience at the CNN debate.
DJ wrote:
a yahoo story i read said leonardo dicaprio was there. i didn't see him. i still swoon a titch when i think about him, even though he's reedy yet jowly at this point. (<-- how does that even happen?) (TRUE STORY: i love the sort of airy, whistle-y, full-cheeked sound he has when he talks.
Jerf wrote:
Ewe are alone on this one, cow. The only thing I like about Leo is his name. Leo, not Leonardo, which is a bit much.
DJ wrote:
have we had this conversation before, ellis?
--charlton
Jerf wrote:
I actually don't think we have, Ron.
--Gramma S.
--Gramma S.
DJ wrote:
it's not like either one of us could CONFIRM it if we HAD, corky.
--rita hayworth
--rita hayworth
Jerf wrote:
this conversation is like some sort of consignment: new to ewe, or whatever. (no idea)
DJ wrote:
*snee*
"gently used."
"gently used."
Jerf wrote:
Gosh, some of our conversations are pretty threadbare but they seem brand spankin' to us.
I guess that is the silver lining of dementia.
I guess that is the silver lining of dementia.
Flaming
Jerf wrote:
In totally unrelated nooz, I saw"Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" this weekend and was VERY pleasantly surprised. They took a lot of liberties with the text, but I think they did it in a way that worked, except for the fact that I don't think they focused enough on the prophecy. But overall, I think it was very well done. Both Rupert and Emma dialed it down in a major way (maybe even too much on Emma's part), and Luna was adorable. Umbridge was good, maybe not quite menacing enough, but she was SO saccharine. And the twins. . . . Well, let's face it, they can't act, but they were very cute. I know I am in the minority, but I think everyone's short haircuts were a great move. Am seriously concerned that the Ginny actress will not be able to perform as needed in the future films, but we'll cross that bridge.
DJ wrote:
must watch phoenix. am willing to re-evaluate hair.
Jerf wrote:
I was really, really surprised that I liked it. Granted, I may be the only one. . . .
DJ wrote:
*jerf shows up at OotP fan soiree*
*has immediate access to buffet*
*never has to wait in line for rest room*
Jerf wrote:
what's wrong with me? I swear I thought it pretty good.
DJ wrote:
well, if i would ever actually SEE it, i would prolly agree with you. i'll let you know when that happens.
*jerf holds breath*
*dies*
Jerf wrote:
*snort*
--j.b.
In totally unrelated nooz, I saw"Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" this weekend and was VERY pleasantly surprised. They took a lot of liberties with the text, but I think they did it in a way that worked, except for the fact that I don't think they focused enough on the prophecy. But overall, I think it was very well done. Both Rupert and Emma dialed it down in a major way (maybe even too much on Emma's part), and Luna was adorable. Umbridge was good, maybe not quite menacing enough, but she was SO saccharine. And the twins. . . . Well, let's face it, they can't act, but they were very cute. I know I am in the minority, but I think everyone's short haircuts were a great move. Am seriously concerned that the Ginny actress will not be able to perform as needed in the future films, but we'll cross that bridge.
DJ wrote:
must watch phoenix. am willing to re-evaluate hair.
Jerf wrote:
I was really, really surprised that I liked it. Granted, I may be the only one. . . .
DJ wrote:
*jerf shows up at OotP fan soiree*
*has immediate access to buffet*
*never has to wait in line for rest room*
Jerf wrote:
what's wrong with me? I swear I thought it pretty good.
DJ wrote:
well, if i would ever actually SEE it, i would prolly agree with you. i'll let you know when that happens.
*jerf holds breath*
*dies*
Jerf wrote:
*snort*
--j.b.
Peel me a grape
Regarding Leonardo Dicaprio, Jerf wrote:
TRUE STORY: I actually did kind of like him in "What's eating Gilbert Grape."
Wait a minute. In film was "LEOtard"?!
DJ wrote:
. . .
please get your head out of your poop cooter.
Jerf wrote:
Re: Poop Cooter: am guffawing. Am, potentially, asphyxiating self with snorts.
Rough, tough, and won't take no--
DJ wrote:
Jerf wrote:
it's bad, cow. was really proud of joe scarborough and his sidekick this morning (not a common occurence) because they just kind of said, "that poor, poor, unwell girl, and we aren't going to discuss this." Was tasteful. For Hoe Scar'bro, that is.
DJ wrote:
i'm crossing my hooves for her!
if nothing else it will keep adnan ghalib's butter fug out of the rags for a while. hoo! *shrimp shiver*
if nothing else it will keep adnan ghalib's butter fug out of the rags for a while. hoo! *shrimp shiver*
Jerf wrote:
He has the worst soul patch I have ever seen. It looks like a strip of carnival stuffed animal.
DJ wrote:
it reminds me of an ass that ain't see the soft side of Charmin.
Patron saint of sweater sets, pray for us
LW wrote:
You'll enjoy this. I had a long dream last night that you were a part of. It had to do with an office party and various other adventures, but here is the part I remember most clearly. You and I were going out somewhere (sunny), and I was wearing long shorts but I couldn't find any shoes I was happy with to go with them. So I put on white socks and white tennis shoes and thought, "I'm just going to walk into DJ's office and see what she thinks." I walked into your office, stood there for two seconds, didn't even say anything, and you just looked over at my outfit and said, "No."
DJ wrote:
i find this comforting.
If you don't know me by now
LW wrote:
Thought you would enjoy this suggestion from washingtonpost.com's TV chat:
WASHINGTON: Lisa, is it wrong to make a drinking game for "Celebrity Rehab"?
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