Best breakfast meat *ever*

This shit is getting REAL, man.

Topsy-turvy

What if the villains were actually the good guys?

from http://www.salon.com/entertainment/movies/film_salon/2011/02/18/stories_from_the_other_side_slide_show/slideshow.html

Kirill Yeskov's "The Last Ringbearer" (1999)

J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Lord of the Rings" cycle is a densely packed fantasy adventure about a band of intrepid heroes battling a pitiless evil headquartered in Mordor, where the dark lord Sauron and his ally, the wizard Saruman, plot to subjugate the land with an army of orcs and other wicked creatures. In 1999, Russian paleontologist Kirill Yeskov published an answer to Tolkien titled "The Last Ringbearer." The novel, which was recently translated from Russian to English for the first time by Yisroel Markov and posted as a free download here, reimagines the battle of Middle-earth as a West vs. East confrontation; it teases out allusions in Tolkien's work (which described the armies of Mordor as swarthy, vaguely Arab-like hordes) and flips the original author's moral vision upside-down. Yeskov's version depicts Tolkien's elves, dwarfs and humans as a superstitious, backward lot, and their wizard enabler Gandalf as a power-mongering opportunist who sees the technologically advanced, scientifically inquisitive Mordor as a threat to magic and superstition.

As Salon's Laura Miller wrote in a review of the book, "In Yeskov's retelling, the wizard Gandalf is a war-monger intent on crushing the scientific and technological initiative of Mordor and its southern allies because science 'destroys the harmony of the world and dries up the souls of men!' He's in cahoots with the elves, who aim to become 'masters of the world,' and turn Middle-earth into a 'bad copy' of their magical homeland across the sea. Barad-dur, also known as the Dark Tower and Sauron's citadel, is, by contrast, described as 'that amazing city of alchemists and poets, mechanics and astronomers, philosophers and physicians, the heart of the only civilization in Middle-earth to bet on rational knowledge and bravely pitch its barely adolescent technology against ancient magic.'"

Yisroel Markov, who officially translated "The Last Ringbearer" with Yeskov's approval and help, says the novel originated in the author's career as a paleontologist. Yeskov wanted "to settle certain geographical problems in Tolkien's fantasy world. One thing led to another, and he tackled a bigger project: What if we assumed that it's no less real than our world? His conclusion was that in such a case, the story of the Ring of Power is most likely a much-altered heroic retelling of a major war, but what was that war really about?" Markov's Myspace page carefully points out that his translation is "non-commercial." "Some publishing houses have considered a commercial translation of this book, which had been published in several major European languages, [but they] abandoned the idea out of fear of the Tolkien estate, which rigidly controls all derivative works, especially in English."

Connor, nobody wants to hear this crap.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xV7Ha3VDbzE

i feel cheated. i didn't even know this existed 'til five minutes ago.

Liz Lemon feminism

"If smart women who know how smart they are intimidate men (and they do), and beautiful women who know how beautiful they are intimidate men (and they do), there is, logically, nothing more intimidating than a woman who is fully aware that she is both smart and beautiful. I mean, maybe a room full of tigers with machine guns! That could be scarier! Or, a smart and beautiful lady who makes jokes."


from an A.MA.ZING essay on feminism found at http://tigerbeatdown.com/2010/03/24/13-ways-of-looking-at-liz-lemon/

Lovin' my peeps in North Africa

granted, i'm under a lot of stress right now, but this . . . 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgP0Gro52c8


i just wept.

Issues on which I feel I can take an affirmative stance

Gadhafi lies, Libyan dies

Oh, naw, naw, naw, naw, naw

talk to the effing PAW, georgia. oh my god. i just. i can't even. i don't.


from http://ca.jezebel.com/5768642/insane-georgia-bill-could-criminalize-miscarriage

Insane Georgia Bill Could Criminalize Miscarriage

A bill currently before the Georgia House of Representatives would not only outlaw all abortions — it would also require that women who miscarry undergo investigation to make sure there was "no human involvement whatsoever." They could also face jail time and even death. Herewith, some of the bill's most insane provisions:

On life

Justice Blackmun, writing for the majority in Roe v. Wade, 410 U.S. 113 (1973), wrote: 'when those trained in the respective disciplines of medicine, philosophy, and theology are unable to arrive at any consensus, the judiciary, at this point in the development of man's knowledge, is not in a position to speculate as to the answer [to the question of when life begins].'

The General Assembly knows the answer to that difficult question, and that answer is life begins at the moment of conception;

On law

The United States Supreme Court had no jurisdiction to hear or decide the case of Roe v. Wade or any other case pertaining to a state's punishment of the crime of prenatal murder;

On "prenatal murder"

'Prenatal murder' means the intentional removal of a fetus from a woman with an intention other than to produce a live birth or to remove a dead fetus; provided, however, that if a physician makes a medically justified effort to save the lives of both the mother and the fetus and the fetus does not survive, such action shall not be prenatal murder. Such term does not include a naturally occurring expulsion of a fetus known medically as a 'spontaneous abortion' and popularly as a 'miscarriage' so long as there is no human involvement whatsoever in the causation of such event. [...] Any person committing prenatal murder in this state shall be guilty of a felony and, 124 upon conviction, shall be punished as provided in subsection (d) of Code Section 16-5-1.

Subsection (d) of Code Section 16-5-1 specifies the penalties for murder: "A person convicted of the offense of murder shall be punished by death or by imprisonment for life."

On miscarriage (or "spontaneous fetal death")

A report of spontaneous fetal death for each spontaneous fetal death which occurs in this state shall be filed with the local registrar of the county in which the delivery occurred within 72 hours after such delivery in accordance with this Code section unless the place of fetal death is unknown, in which case a fetal death certificate shall be filed in the county in which the dead fetus was found within 72 hours after such occurrence.

[...] When a spontaneous fetal death required to be reported by this Code section occurs without medical attendance at or immediately after the delivery or when inquiry is required by Article 2 of Chapter 16 of Title 45, the 'Georgia Death Investigation Act,' the proper investigating official shall investigate the cause of fetal death and shall prepare and file the report within 30 days;

On miscarriages that happen in cars

When a spontaneous fetal death occurs in a moving conveyance and the fetus is first removed from the conveyance in this state or when a dead fetus is found in this state and the place of fetal death is unknown, the fetal death shall be reported in this state. The place where the fetus was first removed from the conveyance or the dead fetus was found shall be considered the place of fetal death.

Jen Phillips of Mother Jones helpfully outlines some reasons the bill is insane ("the bill holds women responsible for protecting their fetuses from 'the moment of conception,' despite the fact that pregnancy tests aren't accurate until at least 3 weeks after conception"). She also says, "I doubt that a bill that makes a legal medical procedure liable for the death penalty will pass." Indeed, the bill appears to be yet another example of bullshit legislative theater, much like the recent "heartbeat bill" in Ohio. It may not actually send any women to the electric chair over their miscarriages — but it has already let them know exactly how much bill sponsor Rep. Bobby Franklin cares about their rights.

VERY exciting development . . .

Captain Tightpants and crew

Mal, Simon, Wash, Zoe, River, Kaylee, Jayne, Inara, Book



(haw. book is teh win. though river's Angsty'Hair is a close second.)


from http://xkcd.com/9/

Great Scott!

the editors at priddy thank president obama for listening and taking action. er, inaction.


Obama Won't Go to Court Over Defense of Marriage Act


by Marc Ambinder
Wednesday, February 23, 2011 | 12:47 p.m.
from http://www.nationaljournal.com/obama-won-t-go-to-court-over-defense-of-marriage-act-20110223

Updated at 1:36 p.m. on February 23.

CORRECTION: The original version of this report had an incorrect year for DOMA's signing by President Clinton.

President Obama believes that the Defense of Marriage Act is unconstitutional and will no longer defend the 15-year-old law in federal court, the Justice Department announced today.

The decision, which stunned and delighted gay-rights activists, means that the administration will withdraw its defense of ongoing suits in two federal Appeals Courts and will leave it to Congress to defend the law, known as DOMA, against those challenges. It will remain a party to the lawsuits. The law itself remains in effect.

DOMA, signed by President Clinton in 1996, allows states not to recognize same-sex marriages preformed in other states and provides a federal definition for “marriage” that excludes same-sex couples.

In a statement, Attorney General Eric Holder said, “After careful consideration, including a review of my recommendation, the president has concluded that, given a number of factors, including a documented history of discrimination, classifications based on sexual orientation should be subject to a more heightened standard of scrutiny.”

He said that Obama also concluded that Section 3 of DOMA, which defines “spouse” as a member of the opposite sex, “fails to meet that standard and is therefore unconstitutional. Given that conclusion, the president has instructed the department not to defend the statute in such cases. I fully concur with the president’s determination.”

Holder notified Congress of the president’s decision. Members can decide whether to pursue their own challenges.

The announcement by the Justice Department came just minutes before White House press secretary Jay Carney’s regular briefing. Carney took care to press upon reporters that the president’s personal view about DOMA -- that it is unfair to gays and lesbians -- is distinct from the decision. The announcement from the administration came because of a court-imposed deadline from the 2nd Circuit.

Carney also said that the U.S. government will still be a party to these cases to allow the courts to make a recommendation about constitutionality and to allow other interested parties, such as Congress, to defend the law if they wish.

“We recognize and respect that there are other points of view,” Carney said.  

The decision means the Justice Department will cease to defend two suits brought against the law. The first was a summary judgment issued in Gill et al. v. Office of Personnel Management and Commonwealth of Massachusetts v. United States Department of Health and Human Services last May by the U.S. District Court of Massachusetts. The plaintiffs challenged the constitutionality of the law’s definition of “marriage” as a legal union between a man and a woman.

District Judge Joseph Louis Tauro ruled Section 3 of the act unconstitutional on the grounds that it violated states’ rights to set their own marriage policies and violated the rights of same-sex couples in the states that permitted marriages. But the president felt compelled to defend the law, reasoning that Congress had the ability to overturn it. The Justice Department entered into an appeal process on October 12, 2010. Tauro stayed implementation of his own ruling pending the appeal. The department filed its defense in the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 1st Circuit on January 14.

The second lawsuit, involving the cases of Pedersen v. Office of Personnel Management and Windsor v. United States, would have been appealed in the Appeals Court for the 2nd Circuit, which has no established standard for how to treat laws concerning sexual orientation.

The president has won favor with the gay community recently by pushing for and winning repeal of the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy for gays serving in the military, which the lame-duck Congress passed in December. At that time, Obama reiterated his support for repealing DOMA but did not take further steps.

The administration has hinted, however, that its own legal strategy was evolving. According to an administration official, Robert Bauer has been reviewing the legal landscape since he became White House counsel in 2010. As the Justice Department noted today, in the 15 years since Congress passed the act, the Supreme Court has invalidated laws criminalizing gay sex, lower courts have ruled DOMA unconstitutional, and Congress agreed to abolish the ban on gays serving openly in the military.

The announcement today does not overturn the law. That would take an act of Congress or a final finding by the judicial branch, probably the Supreme Court. But it changes the vector of the legal cases considerably. Privately, the administration believes that five justices of the Court, including Anthony Kennedy, the swing vote, would find parts or most of DOMA invalid if the federal government withdrew its arguments in defense of it.

A spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign, the largest gay-rights advocacy group, said it was notified just after 11 a.m. ET today.

“This is a monumental decision for the thousands of same-sex couples and their families who want nothing more than the same rights and dignity afforded to other married couples,” said HRC President Joe Solmonese. “As the president has stated previously, DOMA unfairly discriminates against Americans and we applaud him for fulfilling his oath to defend critical constitutional principles.”

Eat your fruit

Our Valentine Gift to You: The delectable charm and erotic pleasure of Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman

by Kera Bolonik
published Feb 7, 2010


from http://nymag.com/arts/tv/features/63637/

She was the sassy, martini-swilling, polymorphously perverse society lady Karen Walker on Will & Grace. He plays Ron Swanson, the breakfast-loving, mustachioed head of the parks department in the fictional town of Pawnee, Indiana, on Parks and Recreation. You might have noticed Megan Mullally’s and Nick Offerman’s delightfully deranged chemistry on a recent episode of Parks, in which Mullally guested as Swanson’s ex-wife, a sinister library administrator named Tammy—Sid and Nancy, if they were small-town bureaucrats whose drug of choice is sex in no-tell motels and local diners. That spark is real: Mullally and Offerman have been married since 2003.

When we meet, they are holding hands—sweetly, not smarmily. What’s noticeable at once: The porcelain-skinned Mullally, 51, speaks in a voice softer and lower than Karen Walker’s. And Offerman, 39—a handsome lumberjack of a guy (and, as it turns out, an accomplished woodworker)—sports a more flow-motion hairstyle than Ron Swanson’s Lego-man ’do. Mullally points out that she is having a sweet hair hangover from yesterday’s photo shoot, as seen above. Speaking of which . . .

Megan Mullally: Neither of us are paragons of physical perfection. That’s why I pitched that nude-photo idea: It’s as if we were Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, but of course we’re not. Yet before we met with you, Nick told me how beautiful I looked in my pajamas in the hotel. I didn’t really, by somebody else’s standards, but it’s very nice to hear that, especially as an actress in Hollywood. Nick has said he would divorce me if I got Botox.

Nick Offerman: I’m very hairy, and men in film and TV are no longer allowed to be hairy. If you’re going to be topless you have to wax everything. My uncles, who are farmers in Minooka, Illinois—I grew up with them and their pickup trucks and mustaches, and to me that was masculinity: big hairy sweaty guys who could pick up a bus.

Tammy and Ron had one of the best hate-sex scenes in modern history. That throwdown in the restaurant—was that hard to pull off?

N.O.: It was really good therapy, because in any relationship you have love times and you have who-didn’t-do-the-dishes times. We’ve worked together before in different ways, but we’ve never had the opportunity to be a team, and in that episode we were like a two-fisted weapon, battering comedy in the audience’s face.

M.M.: We basically destroyed the diner. We ran the gamut of wild, crazy, exhibitionist sex acts and screaming at the other patrons, throwing things, berating the manager and . . .

N.O.: We actually tore the table off the wall.

M.M.: That was kind of an accident. [Laughs.] When we screech into the motel parking lot, that was the first shot on the first day, six o’clock on Monday morning. We’re in that car and I was like, “I’m going to throw my bra out the window and take my top off as we run in.” I didn’t care. I didn’t know anybody. It’s not my set.

How did you meet?

M.M.: We did a play together in L.A., in 2000—The Berlin Circle, by Charles Mee. It’s kind of a deconstruction of Bertolt Brecht’s The Caucasian Chalk Circle.

N.O.: I had just moved from Chicago. I was a theater snob. Megan was the lead and was on a successful show, and I was like, “This fancy TV chick thinks she’s so great.” By the end of the first read-through, her comedy had melted my wall of ice.

M.M.: He hadn’t seen Will & Grace, by the way.

N.O.: I didn’t have a TV. So I introduced myself and said, “I think you’re really funny even though you’re on TV.” It was a funny actor prejudice, because once [the whole cast] got to know her, everyone said, “I can’t believe how down-to-earth you are.” Which means you’re expected to be some huge asshole if you’ve had success.

Theater actors do seem to be more grounded.

M.M.: During Will & Grace, we had so many things we had to go to where you get all dolled up. It’s like pulling teeth for me. People who have theater or sketch-comedy backgrounds seem to be more, you know, our speed. Like Amy Poehler and Will Arnett—we double date.

N.O.: We’re very boring. We never know what the good restaurants are in L.A. because we like to stay home and read books and hang out with our poodles. [At my request, Nick pulls out his iPhone and shows me a picture of two small poodles, Willa and Elmo, both wearing sweaters.] When I met Megan, we were both very staunchly single. But becoming friends with somebody backstage at a play is one of the greatest friendships ever: It’s like making each other laugh in church. But Megan made me work for it.

Mullally and Offerman go at it as Tammy and Ron on Parks and Recreation.

How long before you closed the deal?
N.O.: We might have two different versions of this.
M.M.: I doubt we do. He called me and left a message on my fax number asking me—
N.O.: [Interrupting] Which means she had given me her fax number.
M.M.: [Laughs] He’d left a message for me a week before, asking me to go hear this country band, and I hadn’t gotten it, so we’d been rehearsing the play and he thought I was just dissing him completely.
N.O.: You were icing me.
M.M.: Yeah, but we were getting to know each other and flirting. Shortly before opening night, we went out to dinner and he held my hand and I had butterflies, and I thought, Oh! A couple of nights later, we kissed. After the previews, we made out. We saw a lot of coyotes at that time, so we took it as some kind of magical symbol.
N.O.: [Adopting one of Ron Swanson’s wistful smirks] We were in tune with Gaia; the forces of lust and nature were flowing strong in us.
M.M.: [Laughs] Opening night, somebody saw us making out and then the cat was out of the bag. And then we were dating. Then I wouldn’t let him come to my apartment. Then I would let him come in, but he had to sleep on the couch. And then he could sleep on the bed but we still hadn’t had sex yet. By the time we did, it was long anticipated and well worth the wait. There was a Glen Campbell concert at the Hollywood Bowl that put us in a very lustful mood apparently. We’re both big Glen Campbell fans—it’s one of the things that united us in eternal love.


I would never have guessed.
M.M.: Neither would we have, till it happened. It got serious and we were never apart from then on. He proposed, in London, in 2002. We got married [a year later] in our backyard in L.A. with twenty people.
N.O.: We made a deal that any job that’s going to keep us apart for more than a couple of weeks, we discuss.


Megan’s going to star in Lips Together, Teeth Apart on Broadway, in April. Nick, what will you do?
N.O.: Three years ago, I came [to New York] when Megan was doing Young Frankenstein. I found a shop space in Red Hook and built a canoe. We were living on the Upper West Side, and I was riding my bicycle to Red Hook every day. It was the only time in my adult life I’ve been trim, because it was like eleven miles one way and I could eat and drink like a New Yorker and still be in shape.
M.M.: He also started doing a bunch of things with Upright Citizens Brigade and got a movie with Ryan Gosling [All Good Things]. Cool things happened because he took a leap of faith with me.


You both got your big TV breaks in your late thirties, though ten years apart. How did you negotiate the disparity between your careers before Nick landed Parks and Recreation?
M.M.: We’re very supportive of each other. I don’t know when I’ve been happier than when he got Parks. That was one of the most exciting things that ever happened.
N.O.: One great benefit of our relationship is that Megan has gone through everything a couple of chapters ahead of me, so there’s an easy student-master quality to it. When your wife is a legend of comedy, you have to be a huge jackass not to assume the student role.

You're beautiful, baby.

now stop with the bad rugs. embrace your full, glorious, bald self. 

Happy Presidents' Day, Amrrka!

Wooly mammoth

i *love* the masculine menswear paired with the classic, almost female lines and turned legs. so fab. and the stripped, almost bleached wood? unexpected.


tiny hearts in eyes.

Guffawing/drooling combo