I require at minimum a hat box–worth of goods

HOW I PERCEIVE THE MISTER:

 

dapper and bringing me shit

Keys to a Successful Marriage or Relationship

1. They are gentle with each other.
2. They spend time in one another's company and enjoy conversation with each other.
3. They allow for influence by their partner.
4. They do keep score by remembering the good things their partner does for them.
5. Each partner knows themselves reasonably well.
6. Each partner honors the other's dreams.
7. There is a positive sense of humor in the relationship.
8. There are shared goals and a sense of team work in the relationship.
9. There are good conflict-resolution skills in the relationship (sometimes this means doing something, and sometimes it means letting things take care of themselves).
10.  There is a sense of continued romance in the relationship.
11. Contempt, for the partner, in all its forms, will more than anything else bring the relationship down. It needs to be avoided or worked through.

 

thoughts by john gottman

The nieces and the rest of us?

so, my sweet little ten-year-old niece and i were talking about dress clothes, and she said that she sometimes really doesn't like the options available kids her age. she feels they are too silly and confining and that she can't just be a kid in them. she said she likes a lot more adult dress-up clothes than kid stuff, so today i recommended we virtually shop for an outfit she could wear out to a fancy event -- say, the theater -- that would be appropriate to the occasion and still comfortable enough for her. together we chose the following:

J. Crew's girls' glitz-collar cashmere cardigan in venetian green

 

J. C. Penney Joe Fresh cropped velvet leggings in black

J. Crew girls' petite Belle ballet flat in black

J. Crew girls' Maan Desir tweed coat in tweed green

 

Burberry Giant Icon Check cashmere scarf in Damson magenta

 

naturally, the seven-year-old wanted to get into the fun. she was a lot less opinionated and more willing to be steered by her older sister. who agreed with me that in the following she would absolutely explode the world with her cuteness. and, bonus, it would coordinate SO well with her sister's look.

J. Crew's girls' crinkle chiffon rosette dress in newport navy

 

 J. Crew girls' cashmere cardigan in neon amethyst

 

J. Crew girls' solid tights in ivory

J. Crew girls' classic cap toe ballet flats in pinot noir

 

Rothschild girls' Rosette wool-look dress coat in pink

(if i could find a coat with a little less gray in it, i'd be happy tia.)

Ralph Lauren floral chiffon scarf in black multi

Note left for the hubby

i have yet to receive a satisfactory answer. will keep you updated.

Most excellent

Tomayto, tomahto

*listening to BBC report on failure of jackson family's wrongful death suit against MJ's promoters*
G: *giggles*
DJ: what?
G: isn't that the character from Bye Bye, Birdie?
DJ: *thinks* oh. that's Conrad Murray.
G:  ohhhhh.

A beloved man remembered

Kelley strived for a better city: Rare illness claims life of community pillar at forefront of service, revitalization work.
By Ken Stephens and Kathy Hanks - The Hutchinson News

A brain disease that strikes one in a million took the life of Ron Kelley on Saturday.

Kelley, the retired Dillons executive and relentless civic and community volunteer, was 74. Family and friends were stunned by his diagnosis with Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease in late August and his rapid deterioration.

"What makes it so unbelievable is that he was in perfect health," said his wife of 52 years, Lovella Kelley. "It is absolutely, devastating."

Kelley had been an active participant in a Housing Commission meeting on July 24. He missed the next meeting on Aug. 24 because he was in Boston, where he was diagnosed with Creutzfeldt-Jakob, an always fatal disease that is characterized by rapidly progressive dementia and has no known treatment or cure.

Whether it was his church or his city, when there was a job to be done, Kelley was willing.

"He was always there," said Downtown Development Director Jim Seitnater, a longtime friend.

Kelley was a member of the Trinity Catholic school board, an organizer of the Ulster Project and a founder of the Catholics United Credit Union.

He served several stints totaling more than a decade on the Hutchinson Planning Commission and was chairman in 2009 when the commission began work on the first major rewrite of zoning regulations since 1987. Those new regulations were adopted in 2010, shortly after he left the Planning Commission.

Kelley moved, almost without a break, to the Housing Commission when he could no longer serve on the Planning Commission because of term limits.

He served on a committee to select a new city manager twice, once in 1991 and again in 2004 when the city hired the current manager, John Deardoff.

Kelley's priest, Father Joe Eckberg, was also shocked at how quickly Kelley, a man so vital and with such a brilliant mind, could perish from the horrific disease. When Eckberg first arrived in town, he quickly learned what an impact Ron had not just on the Catholic community, but the Hutchinson community.

"Ron touched a lot of lives," said Eckberg. "Just after I came, he opened Sarah's Catholic Bookstore, named after his oldest child. It was his dream to have the store in Hutchinson, and he made it happen."

The book store was his legacy, Lovella said.

"You would never make money in a bookstore," she said. "The legacy was that people came because they knew he was there and if they needed something he would help them get it."

Starting a local Society of St. Vincent de Paul, an international Catholic voluntary organization dedicated to serving the poor and disadvantaged, was also Kelley's brain child, said Eckberg. Instead of giving the poor money, they go with them to the grocery store and buy food, or fill up someone's car with gas.

There was much he did to help others quietly behind the scenes. He was always trying to make the world a better place for everyone and began with his own six children and 23 grandchildren. A gentle man, they can't recall him ever raising his voice.

He and Lovella took guardianship of a man known as Willie, who walked Main Street pushing a shopping cart and feeding the cats in Avenue A Park. They began feeding Willie lunch every day and got him into a local assisted care home, where they continued to visit him.

An unabashed promoter of downtown Hutchinson, Kelley was a member, and later chairman, of the Mayor's Task Force on Downtown Revitalization and then became the first chairman of the Downtown Hutchinson Revitalization Partnership, an organization he continued to serve until his death. In 2003, he was honored as a Kansas Main Street Volunteer of the Year.

For years, Kelley also was involved in efforts to redevelop the Wiley Building at First and Main.

While he was chairman, the DHRP unsuccessfully tried to purchase the building from George Nerhan on behalf of one potential developer. He also was a member of the Wiley Task Force, appointed by the City Council in 2008 to study the feasibility of renovating the building into a new City Hall. Because of his illness, it was uncertain whether he knew that another developer finally was able to complete a difficult purchase of the building on Aug. 26.

He also served on the Reno County/Hutchinson Intergovernmental Commission, which in the 1980s recommended consolidation of the Reno County Sheriff's Office and the Hutchinson Police Department, though nothing ever came of that recommendation.

Seitnater agreed that Kelley's involvement in civic affairs was so pervasive that it likely will take more than one person to fill his shoes.

"He was very much giving of his time and talent and his resources," Seitnater said.

But, he also took time to enjoy life.

Kelley learned to waltz so that he could play the commanding officer in the biennial production of the Prairie Nutcracker. Lovella played the officer's wife. It became their special time together during rehearsals and the performances. For several years, his officer's boots were too small. Other men in the cast would have to pull them on and then after the performance it took two or three strong men to pull them off.

"Ron was one of the most virtuous men I have ever met," said Betsie Andrews said. "I will miss his warm, encouraging-to-all smile."

Kelley would forever be the Prairie Nutcracker's commanding officer emeritus, Andrews said.

To find the exact words to describe her husband was difficult for Lovella.

"He taught me that faith and hope are who we are," she said.

Their strength came from reading the Liturgy of the Hours together. They would pray together three times a day, and were able to continue almost to the end. Many friends came and prayed with them.

It all was so sudden. A month ago, he was reading at Sunday Mass, and then two days later he lost his balance and was unable to remember things.

Through it, he remained a man of "silent, steady, courage," said his sister-in-law Lou Irwin.

A grieving daughter asked how her father could be stricken with this disease that only effects one in a million. A grandchild answered, "Because he was one in a million."

Some of my favorite moments . . .

. . . of our recent european sojourn

this kid's sense of entitlement (and kid gloves)

amsterdam at twilight

 this guy on a bike

signage in den haag

sweeeeeet accommodations

 chilling with her majesty

frolicking at scheveningen

making Moody Introspection sexy

 occasional seating

celebrating graduations with cake

 celebrating birthdays with cake

help opening presents from the under-three set

making Moody Introspection at Your Sister's Sweet Beach Resort on the Mediterranean sexy

 a chance restaurant per strada

 the Taste of Sicily appetizer (olives, arugula, cured meats, prosciutto, caponata, bruschetta with tomatoes, potato croquette, grilled eggplant, fresh ricotta, primo sale cheese, arrancino)

getting in touch with our not-fucked-up catholic roots

agonizing over which souvenirs to buy

random shadowed courtyards

unexpected local delicacies (fresh bread, olive oil, salt, pepper, oregano, anchovy paste, tomatoes, grated peccorino, more olive oil)

irony translated

corleone's anti-mafia museum (pictured is one of only two copies of Buscetta's complete testimony at the Maxi Trial, which helped prove omerta' is indeed breakable)

sipping ice-cold water from palazzo adriano's public fountains (the town portrayed in Il Nuovo Cinema Paradiso)

the sicilian countryside

italian wedding masses

the first half of the menu at italian wedding receptions

roving musicians in tight white pantsuits at italian wedding receptions

beloved nephews portraying wicked cardinals in amateur outdoor theater in the piazza of an evening

catania by night

more greek ruins than you can shake a stick at

earnest italian activism ("ANIMAL S.O.S.: Nice pigeons so badly limping in pain are victims of cruel nylon tortures. Nylon + iron. PLEASE HELP. [artistic rendering of nice pigeons so badly limping]")

family who married well and happily

public duck orgies

the view from gli zii's balcony

climbing (the lower part of) Etna

and afterward enjoying Etna-sized arrancini

appreciating the local art scene

the italian sense of adherence to the law (ashtray placed over No-Smoking sign in hotel room)

the infinity pool at our place in letojanni

the views from taormina