Revisiting Sheila

Chicken Marbella

Published January 1, 2012. From Cook's Illustrated. 

from http://www.cooksillustrated.com/recipes/6766-chicken-marbella?extcode=LN15A3CAA#.

Why this recipe works:

To save time and boost flavor, we ditched the original marinade and made a paste of the prunes, olives, capers, garlic, and oregano, which we spread on the chicken and caramelized into the sauce. To boost meatiness and complexity, we added anchovies and pepper flakes and browned the chicken skin in a skillet before baking it through. 

Serves 4 to 6 

Any combination of split breasts and leg quarters can be used in this recipe.

Ingredients:

Paste  

1/3 cup pitted green olives, rinsed 

1/3 cup pitted prunes 

3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil 

4 garlic cloves, peeled
2 tablespoons capers, rinsed  

3 anchovy fillets, rinsed  

1/2 teaspoon dried oregano  

1/2 teaspoon pepper  

1/4 teaspoon kosher salt  

Pinch red pepper flakes 

 

Chicken 2 1/2 - 3 pounds bone-in, skin-on split chicken breasts and/or leg quarters, trimmed Kosher salt and pepper 2 teaspoons olive oil 3/4 cup low-sodium chicken broth 1/3 cup white wine 1/3 cup pitted green olives, rinsed and halved 1 tablespoon capers, rinsed 2 bay leaves 1/3 cup pitted prunes, chopped coarse 1 tablespoon unsalted butter 1 teaspoon red wine vinegar 2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley

Preparation:

1. FOR THE PASTE: Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 400 degrees. Pulse all ingredients in food processor until finely chopped, about ten 1-second pulses. Scrape down bowl and continue to process until mostly smooth, 1 to 2 minutes. Transfer to bowl. (Paste can be refrigerated for up to 24 hours.) 
2. FOR THE CHICKEN: Pat chicken dry with paper towels. Sprinkle chicken pieces with 1½ teaspoons salt and season with pepper.
3. Heat oil in 12-inch skillet over medium-high heat until just smoking. Add chicken, skin side down, and cook without moving it until well browned, 5 to 8 minutes. Transfer chicken to large plate. Drain off all but 1 teaspoon fat from skillet and return to medium-low heat.
4. Add 1/3 cup paste to skillet and cook, stirring constantly, until fragrant and fond forms on pan bottom, 1 to 2 minutes. Stir in broth, wine, olives, capers, and bay leaves, scraping up any browned bits. Return chicken to pan, skin side up (skin should be above surface of liquid), and roast, uncovered, for 15 minutes.
5. Remove skillet from oven and use back of spoon to spread remaining paste over chicken pieces; sprinkle prunes around chicken. Continue to roast until paste begins to brown, breasts register 160 degrees, and leg quarters register 175 degrees, 7 to 12 minutes longer.
6.  Transfer chicken to serving platter and tent loosely with aluminum foil. Remove bay leaves from sauce and whisk in butter, vinegar, and 1 tablespoon parsley; season with salt and pepper to taste. Pour sauce around chicken, sprinkle with remaining 1 tablespoon parsley, and serve.

Technique
Making Over Marbella
The original chicken Marbella featured chicken parts marinated overnight and then baked.

Problem: Pale, flabby skin
Solutions: Ditch the marinade since it turns skin soggy (and never permeates the flesh anyway). Sear the chicken to crisp the skin before adding liquid.
Problem: Bland meat
Solution: Smear a potent paste of capers, garlic, anchovies, olives, prunes, oregano, and red pepper flakes onto the chicken after it is seared.
Problem: Overly sweet, lackluster sauce
Solutions: Eliminate brown sugar and use the flavorful fond from searing the chicken (plus more caper-prune-olive paste) to form the base of the sauce. Balance the flavors with butter, vinegar, and parsley.

Mandorlicious

Best Almond Cake

From Cook's Illustrated | January/February 2014

Why this recipe works:

To create an Almond Cake with a great appearance and superior almond flavor, we used finely ground almonds, which had a more pronounced almond flavor than almond paste, which is used in most cake recipes. And to create a light cake with a moist open crumb, we used the protein structure of eggs in place of the denser gluten structure created from using all-purpose flour.

Best Almond Cake

To perfect this elegant European dessert, we deepened its flavor and lightened its texture—and did it all in a food processor.

Serves 8 to 10

If you can’t find blanched sliced almonds, grind slivered almonds for the batter and use unblanched sliced almonds for the topping. Serve plain or with Orange Crème Fraîche (see related content).

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups plus 1/3 cup blanched sliced almonds, toasted 3/4 cup (3 3/4 ounces) all-purpose flour 3/4 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon baking powder 1/8 teaspoon baking soda 4 large eggs 1 1/4 cups (8 3/4 ounces) plus 2 tablespoons sugar 1 tablespoon plus 1/2 teaspoon grated lemon zest (2 lemons) 3/4 teaspoon almond extract 5 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted 1/3 cup vegetable oil

Instructions

1. Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 300 degrees. Grease 9-inch round cake pan and line with parchment paper. Pulse 1½ cups almonds, flour, salt, baking powder, and baking soda in food processor until almonds are finely ground, 5 to 10 pulses. Transfer almond mixture to bowl. 
2. Process eggs, 1 1/4 cups sugar, 1 tablespoon lemon zest, and almond extract in now-empty processor until very pale yellow, about 2 minutes. With processor running, add melted butter and oil in steady stream, until incorporated. Add almond mixture and pulse to combine, 4 to 5 pulses. Transfer batter to prepared pan. 
3. Using your fingers, combine remaining 2 tablespoons sugar and remaining 1/2 teaspoon lemon zest in small bowl until fragrant, 5 to 10 seconds. Sprinkle top of cake evenly with remaining 1/3 cup almonds followed by sugar-zest mixture.
4. Bake until center of cake is set and bounces back when gently pressed and toothpick inserted in center comes out clean, 55 to 65 minutes, rotating pan after 40 minutes. Let cake cool in pan on wire rack for 15 minutes. Run paring knife around sides of pan. Invert cake onto greased wire rack, discard parchment, and reinvert cake onto second wire rack. Let cake cool, about 2 hours. Cut into wedges and serve. (Store cake in plastic wrap at room temperature for up to 3 days.)

How We Got the Best Almond Flavor—and Cake Texture
For a rich, nutty taste and a consistency that’s not too dense, we toast blanched almonds (we dislike the slight bitterness imparted by skin-on almonds) to deepen their flavor. Then we grind them in the food processor. The ground nuts give the crumb an open, rustic texture.

START WITH BLANCHED ALMONDS

TOAST UNTIL GOLDEN BROWN

GRIND WITH FLOUR, SALT, AND LEAVENERS

Egg Foams: Mixer versus Food Processor
The goal when mixing most cake batters is to incorporate a lot of air into the eggs so that the cake will bake up light and tall, and a mixer is usually the best tool to get the job done. For our Best Almond Cake, however, we wanted a flat, level top; just a moderate rise; and a texture that was neither too fluffy nor too dense. Ditching the mixer in favor of a food processor did the trick. Here’s why: When eggs and sugar are whipped in a mixer, the whisk gently unfolds the protein strands in the eggs while incorporating lots of air, producing a foam with a strong network that holds on to that air. The outcome? A tall, well-risen, domed cake. A food processor, with its high rpm and very sharp blade, similarly unravels the eggs’ protein strands and incorporates air, but it also damages some strands along the way. The result is just what we were after: a flatter, slightly denser cake.

MIXER: Tall and domed.

FOOD PROCESSOR: Perfectly flat.

As I struggle to finish the work before me . . .

 Too Much to Do? Eleven Productivity Hacks that Can Help

from http://www.cnn.com/2014/12/09/living/increase-productivity-at-work/index.html

(Business Insider) -- Starting and maintaining a small business takes an exceptional amount of work, and time is a precious commodity. That's why most successful entrepreneurs have developed a few tricks along the way to increase their productivity and effectiveness.

We asked entrepreneurs across industries to share their favorite productivity hacks, from useful organization apps to clever tricks for cutting down meeting times.

These simple habits have proven to enhance their focus, organization, and happiness, all of which fuel their success:

1. Beth Doane, founder of Raintees, lets all calls go to voicemail.

In 2008, Doane created Raintees, an apparel line that plants a tree in an endangered rainforest for every shirt sold and donates school supplies to a child in need for every tote bag sold.

Leading a growing company requires her full focus. Doane lets all of her non-scheduled calls go to voicemail, or else she would never get anything done, she says.

"I tend to return calls at the end of the day, and if someone really needs to reach me I have my assistant's info on my voicemail and let her decide if it's really an 'important' call."

2. Eric Casaburi, founder and CEO of Retro Fitness, multitasks by combining a "brainless" activity with a "brain-required" activity.

Casaburi founded the first Retro Fitness in 2004 as an affordable gym for fitness buffs of all intensity levels. His franchise now has locations across the country and continues to grow.

He thinks multi-tasking is key for productivity, but only if it combines a mindless task with one that requires focus.

"For example, you could exercise on a treadmill, while taking a conference call (something that I do frequently)," he says. "Yes, you will be winded, but I assure you it won't affect your thinking and communication skills. In fact, there are studies that show the brain neurons fire off at a higher rate while active!"

3. Jamie Wong, founder and CEO of Vayable, schedules three non-work-related activities a week that nothing can interfere with.

Vayable is a San Francisco-based travel firm that connects travelers with locals who serve as tour guides. Its network includes over 600 destinations around the world.

Wong says that she's found schedules and daily plans regularly get broken, so she started keeping three things in her life that she sticks to no matter what. She commits to one activity in each of the categories "Create," "Love," and "Grow." Right now, for example, she's learning how to play songs on her guitar (Create), keeping Thursday and Saturday nights reserved for friends (Love), and taking boxing lessons (Grow).

"I've discovered that few things are more powerful in personal growth than sports," she says. "I block off Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings now for boxing training. Not only is it an amazing workout, but the mental and physical discipline it requires is a great exercise and metaphor for achieving anything outside of my comfort zone... I find that boxing, like many sports, is always a powerful metaphor for life and business, and I am able to draw on its power throughout the week."

4. Doug Quint, co-founder of Big Gay Ice Cream, books his flights based on the availability of WiFi.

Quint and Bryan Petroff started selling gourmet ice cream from a rented truck in the summer of 2009 as a fun side project. Big Gay Ice Cream quickly gained a devoted following throughout New York, and the pair opened up a proper shop in the city in 2011, followed by another the next year. The brand's fanbase continues to expand, and the Daily Beast and USA Today ranked it the best ice cream parlor business in the U.S. last year.

To make the most of his time spent traveling, Quint always makes sure he will have access to a WiFi network.

"There's usually no guarantee at the time of booking that I'll need Internet access — but if I can't sleep and there's work to be done that hinges on connectivity, it seems like a week's worth of work can be done during those hours at 24,000 feet," he says.

5. Kate McKeon, founder of Prepwise and Prepwise Games, utilizes Fancy Hands' assistants-for-hire.

McKeon was a longtime consultant who turned to the education world when she became an instructor at Manhattan GMAT in 2008. In 2012, she founded her own test prep company, Prepwise, for students taking the SAT and GMAT.

As the leader of two small startup teams, McKeon has to take care of a constant stream of tasks. She turned to Fancy Hands' assistant services a year ago and has said it's significantly boosted her productivity.

"In some cases, I have them do preliminary research on market segments so I can make a high-level decision very quickly," she says. "In other cases, I break up a very complicated project into small enough pieces that can be done with a series of tasks. I had them sort through a 15,000 word glossary for wrong words, and it only took two days."

6. Joe Silverman, founder of New York Computer Help, has a rewards system for achieving his goals throughout the day.

Silverman founded New York Computer Help in 2000, and now his team of 25 repairs computers, smartphones, and tablets. He places an emphasis on customer service and personally follows up with as many customers as he can.

When Silverman became his own boss, he wanted to find a way to motivate himself. The answer was a simple reward system — with an emphasis on snacks.

"Complete the blog and get a mini-chocolate," he says as an example. "Call up all customers who would like additional IT services and buy coffee from Dunkin Donuts. Reach my daily sales goal and eat a protein bar. The key for me is to stick to these incentives. If I don't accomplish a goal, well, I don't get the reward."

7. Roger J. Hamilton, founder of the XL Group, categorizes every task as a "project" or a "process" and then strictly manages them.

Hamilton was born in Hong Kong and is now based in Singapore. He conducts motivational "Fast Forward Your Business" tours around the world each year and owns businesses in publishing, property, financing, event and resort management, and business coaching. He founded the XL Group entrepreneur network in 2002, which has included members like Air Asia founder Tony Fernandez and Nobel Prize winner Muhammed Yunus.

Hamilton wants to spend most of his time growing his business rather than maintaining it. That's why he and his team members categorize every task as either a project or a process, and he then automates or outsources as many processes as possible so that he can focus on growing his brand. Answering emails, for example, is a constant process and one that can easily be handed off to an assistant so that he has more time to take care of high-level decisions.

8. Mona Bijoor, founder of Joor, skips the gym and incorporates exercise into her daily routine.

In 2010, Bijoor started Joor as an online global marketplace for wholesale buying for fashion retailers. It is based in New York City and now has offices in Los Angeles and Milan, Italy.

Bijoor works fitness into her busy days, which start at 6:30 a.m. when her young daughters wake her up.

"I make my girls breakfast and while they are eating I generally do 100 sit ups or 100 push ups," she says. Then she takes the train into the city with her husband. "I get off two subway stops earlier than my normal stop and walk 20 blocks to work so I can log some steps on my Fitbit. This is all the exercise I get during the day, so I take full advantage of NYC being such a great walking city."

9. Bobby Harris, founder and president of BlueGrace Logistics, keeps meetings as short as possible.

BlueGrace Logistics offers transportation, technology, freight, and logistics services to companies. In 2011, it launched a program to sell franchises in all 50 states, and in 2012, Inc. magazine named it the No. 1 logistics and transportation company in the country.

Harris hates meetings because he thinks they waste time, but he knows that sometimes they're necessary. He's found a way to make the most of them.

"Never accept a meeting without a clear agenda and then ask how long they need," he said. "Whatever amount of time is requested cut it in half! For instance, if someone asks for 30 minutes, give them 15. Start and stop your meeting on time, every time."

10. Priscila Barros, founder of Babiekins Magazine, makes sure her desk is always clean.

When Barros was a 22-year-old mom, she decided to start an online fashion magazine for kids. Babiekins took off when Vogue Kids Brasil covered it, and now it's advertised as the leading children's fashion magazine in the U.S.

Barros thinks entrepreneurs should not underestimate the benefits of a clean desk.

"I have made it a habit to put things away and keep folders for different tasks," she says. "And once a task is done, I check it off. It helps my mind keep focused on that 'one thing' to do instead of looking at the long list of must-dos."

11. Carlo Ruggiero, co-founder of Kono Pizza, gets back to work once his family is asleep.

Ruggiero founded Kono Pizza USA as the American branch of the company Italian chef Rossano Boscolo started in 2002. Boscolo has expanded the cone-shaped pizza franchise to 19 countries, and Ruggiero is in charge of locations in New Jersey, North Carolina, and Florida.

Ruggiero goes back to work at night as a way to focus and get extra work done.

"At night when my family is asleep, I work uninterrupted for at least two to three hours," he says. "These few extra hours have been extra productive because I sleep better knowing I've done all I can that day, but more importantly, it decreases my 'to do' list for the next morning."

To see more productivity hacks, visit BusinessInsider.com.

Piping loaves of meats on blustery days

Turkey Meatloaf

so, i threw this together last night after reading several meatloaf recipes online (largely using ina garten's for flavor profile). all amounts approximated.

4 hearty servings

somebody else's rando turkey meatloaf, but mine looked pretty similar, though cut into a wedge, not a slice.

Ingredients
1 lb 93% lean ground turkey
< 1/4 of an onion, chopped (i used purple, but i think yellow would be even better)
c. 1+ t garlic powder
c. 1+ t onion powder
large pinch dried thyme (fresh would kill)
salt (the more mustard/soy/worcestershire/spices you have, the less salt you'll need; play it by ear)
freshly ground pepper
1 T dijon mustard (i sometimes use stone-ground)
soy sauce (worcestershire would be even better, i think)
1/4+ c ketchup, divided
1 egg, whisked
c. 1 c bread crumbs (i had plain, but i think italian would be fun)
1ish t extra-virgin olive oil 

Additional Optional Add-Ins
chopped olive tapenade–type thing (i just happened to have this on hand and thought it was really fun; by no means necessary; or try other savory spreads here. how about pickled veg? chopped artichoke spread?)
chopped fresh parsley (this is the husband's suggestion, and i agree it would be killer)
large-dice hard-boiled egg (also his addition, which i think is brilliant. growing up i knew a family that used to bake whole hard-boiled eggs into their meatloaf, which i think is amazing. and would make for a killer '50s-era-looking cross-section, no? i will do this one day.)
ooked, chopped -- so it's not stringy to the bite -- well-seasoned (key!) spinach (be sure all the extra water is squeezed out, or it will eff with your loaf, man)


Preparation

1. preheat the oven to 325^F.
2. in a large mixing bowl, gently combine the turkey, chopped onion, garlic powder, onion powder, thyme, maybe 1ish t salt, as many cracks of pepper as appeal, dijon mustard, a few good glugs of soy sauce, 2ish T ketchup, and whisked egg. (if you are adding in additional ingredients -- like the suggested tapenade, fresh parsley, and hard-boiled egg -- now's your cue.) 
3. once the mixture is just barely combined, with a fair distribution of the ingredients, mix in the bread crumbs, using an easy hand. you don't want to overwork the mixture. combine until it feels solid enough to hold together without becoming tough or dry feeling. you may need to add additional bread crumbs 'til you get the right feel (see notes about wet vs. dry ingredients below). just experiment.
4. oil the bottom of a square 8" x 8" cake pan (or really any oven-safe vessel that will give your meat goodness room to breathe -- i say this because if you use the traditional loaf pan i can't be sure how the temp and times will change). place the meat mixture into it, patting it into an even circle (or, really, whatever damned shape you fancy). spread another 2ish T ketchup on the top of the loaf.
5. bake in the middle of the oven for 40 to 50 minutes. you want the meat to hold together nicely without any pink remaining, but you don't want to overcook, or it will become dry and tough. i don't have a meat thermometer and so just cut the whole thing in half when i suspected it was done to check it; imperfect but effective.
6. serve with something super nummy like mashed potatoes and a simple salad. note that this loaf is tasty hot out of the oven, at room temperature, or even cold (especially in a sandwich). vee obliging, this turkey meatloaf.

A Word On Breadcrumbs
the more dry ingredients you have -- any grated cheeses, chopped eggs, abundant spices and herbs, etc. -- the less breadcrumb you'll need; the more wet ingredients -- soy/worcestershire, mustard, egg, etc. -- the more breadcrumb you'll need.

Sweetest

Mrs. Cochran's Perfect Pecan Pie, Courtesy of Sweetie-licious

Note: To make this a chocolate pecan pie, add 1/2ish cup semi-sweet chocolate chips to bottom of pie before pouring in filling? Yes? Dark chocolate? Other? —dj

Ingredients
3 eggs
½ C. sugar
½ C. dark brown sugar
½ tsp. salt
3 Tbsp. butter, melted
¾ C. dark corn syrup
1 Tbsp. flour
1 C. whipping cream
1 tsp. vanilla
2 Tbsp. brandy
2 C. pecan, chopped or whole

Eggnog ice cream, to serve
Preparation

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a medium mixing bowl, beat together the eggs, sugars, butter, corn syrup, flour, and cream. Stir in the vanilla, brandy, and pecans. Pour into an unbaked frozen pie shell. 
2. Bake for 45-60 minutes or until the filling is set. Cool.  Serve with eggnog ice cream . . . and enjoy!

A starchy must

Tyler Florence's Chive and Garlic Mashed Potatoes

serves 4 to 6
 

Ingredients

6 to 8 large Yukon gold potatoes, peeled and quartered
1 tablespoon salt
4 bay leaves
1 cup heavy cream
1/2 stick (1/4 cup) butter
4 cloves garlic, lightly crushed
3 sprigs fresh thyme
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 tablespoons chopped chives

Preparation

1. Put the cut potatoes into a large pot, cover them with cold water, and add salt and 2 bay leaves. Bring to a boil and simmer until the potatoes are fork tender, about 20 to 30 minutes. Drain well and remove the bay leaves. 
2. Meanwhile, in a small pot heat the cream, butter, garlic, thyme, and remaining bay leaves. While the potatoes are still warm, press them through a potato ricer or food mill into a mixing bowl. Add the warm cream, straining out the solids, a bit at a time until the potatoes are fluffy. Season with salt and pepper and gently stir in the chives. Serve immediately.

Mulling over my menu

Tyler Florence's Test Kitchen Stuffing

Makes enough to stuff one turkey.
 

Ingredients
4 cups Sourdough Bread (torn into 1" pieces, without the crusts)
2 tablespoons Grapeseed or Vegetable oil
1/2 pound Sage Breakfast Sausage (crumbled)
1/2 cup Diced Carrots
1/2 cup Diced Celery
1/2 cup Diced Onion
5 Sage Leaves
3 Thyme Sprigs
Kosher Salt
Freshly Ground Black Pepper
2/3 cup Chicken Stock
1 Egg
Preparation

1. Preheat the oven to 375°F. Toast the Bread on a sheet pan in the oven for about 15 minutes until crisp and golden.
2. Heat the Oil over medium-high heat in a large saucepan then add the Sausage and let it brown. After it's nice and golden on one side, stir to get color all over. Add the Carrots, Celery, and Onion, followed by the Sage and Thyme. Turn the heat down to medium and cook, stirring occasionally, to keep the cooking even. Season with Salt and Pepper. When the vegetables are aromatic and tender, add a splash of Water if necessary to loosen the brown bits from the bottom of the pan. Add the Toasted Bread and the Chicken Stock and mix.
3. Remove the Thyme Sprigs and pull the Leaves off. Add the Leaves back to the stuffing and then transfer the stuffing to a food processor. Process until fairly smooth, adding the Egg while pureeing (if you're doubling the recipe for extra stuffing, puree only half the stuffing; the rest you can bake as directed below).
4. Transfer the stuffing to a piping bag (or a large zip top bag with a comer snipped off).
5. If you would like to have the stuffing as a stand-alone dish, skip the pureeing. Transfer the stuffing mixture to a greased baking dish and cook in a 350°F oven until the top is golden brown.

My shelves

LIST OF AUTHORS ABOUT WHOSE WORKS I GET RABIDLY EXCITED
jane austen, everything
laura kinsale, everything
cara mckenna/meg maguire, almost everything
joanna bourne, everything
laurie r. king, mary russell series
julia spencer-fleming, everything 


LIST OF AUTHORS WHO BRING IT
curtis sittenfeld
feminists in comedy today (e.g., poehler, fey)
dorothy l. sayers
tana french

ATTENTION all Duggars okayish with explicit sex scenes and who don't think red nail varnish is too, too whore-y

have i got the book for you: Bygones by lavyrle spencer.

*** FIRST UPDATE, LESS THAN SEVENTY PAGES IN, 10.15.14 ***

oh, m'god, y'all, i'm not sure i'm going to be able to DO this. i was blown away by lavyrle spencer's Morning Glory -- a POEM of a book; broke my heart. so when i saw a shelf full of spencer at my local Goodwill a few months back, i picked out some paperbacks. hardly five pages in to this one, i was ready to throw it against the wall. it has aged BADLY, people.

oh, how, you ask?

THE STYLE:

• raspberry pumps paired with matching leather gloves
• the cute fiance sports "naturally curly brown hair, crew-cut on top and trailing in thinned tendrils over his collar." MULLET COUNT: 1
• kitchen newly redone with white Formica cabinets and a new vinyl floor in shades of seafoam blue, the new furniture a blend of smoky blues and apricots; "the window treatments were lavish above, simple below: great billowing valances in a busy blue-and-apricot floral, paired with pleated horizontal blinds of pale apricot."
• the cute son's "hair was black, like his father's, and dressed with something sheeny, spiked straight up and finger-long on top, slicked back over the ears and trailing in natural curls below his collar in back. randy was an eye-catcher. . . . he adopted the rough-cut look of the unshaved young pop singer george michael." PEOPLE. WHEREFORE ALL THE MULLETS. I CAN'T. SOMEONE NEEDS TO ETERNAL SUNSHINE MY MIND OF THE EIGHTIES. MULLET COUNT: 2 MANY
• mom's favorite shop clerk, who creates "a positive first impression when customers walked into the store," sports "sculptured garnet fingernails bearing tiny rhinestone nail ornaments that flashed as her hand rested on the railing."
• "When Bess came to the door Paula Abdul was blasting 'Opposites Attract' from the CD player, and Randy was standing before his dresser adjusting the knot in a skinny gray leather tie. He was dressed in baggy, pleated trousers, a silvery-gray double-breasted sport coat and a plaid shirt in muted shades of purple, gray and white. He'd put something on his hair to make it glossy and though he'd said he'd had it cut, as promised, it still hung to his collar in natural ringlets . . . looking spiffy for once." THIS ≠ SPIFFY

THE LOWBROW:

• personal libraries consisting of five stephen king novels. y'all, i love stephen king as much as the next book junkie, but i also kept my copy of to kill a mockingbird from the time i read it with my fifth-grade class, you know?
• a Fancy Meal consisting of: (1) cheese ball with Ritz crackers, (2) beef stroganoff, (3) corn pudding. i mean, on their own, maybe? but, like, in a menu? . . . and "corn pudding" = "nutritious vegetable side"? . . .
• a Buick Park Avenue and a Cadillac Seville are the motorcars of choice for conspicuous, fairly tasteless middle-american consumption. take note, Heartland!!

THE HELLISH SEXISM:

• he's bitter that she "left her family" -- read: she decided in her thirties that she wanted a career and so started taking college classes during the day, which meant she wasn't there to single-handedly raise their two children and warm her husband's fucking toaster strudel for him. UM. NO.
• his cheating isn't what RUINED the marriage, you see; he only cheated because he felt NEGLECTED when she went to COLLEGE. my spork is at the ready; his jugular is looking REALLY soft.
• she's constantly turning down food because she's ten pesky pounds overweight! see what the author did here? she maintained the heroine's required neurotic self-loathing and body dysmorphia (we aren't allowed to ever be at peace with our bodies; it's a WAR, ladies), but only TEN pounds overweight is code to the rest of us ladies reading this novel -- "oh, she's GORGEOUS! ten pounds is NOTHING! i've got twenty-five extra pounds i could give you right now!"
• the husband's mistress is "ten pounds underweight." women versus women, no one's healthy, everyone's either too fat or too thin. well, every woman, anyway.
• cute fiance on gender roles: "you'd be surprised how many girls today can't even boil water. when i found out [my fiancee] could cook i told my mother, i think i've found the girl of my dreams." darling, i hope you step out on her if she ever leaves the frying pan soaking in the sink in favor of community college evening classes!!
• "toward the end of their marriage, when she'd been caught up in the rigors of studying for her degree and maintaining a domicile and a family of four, he had said during one of their fights, 'look at you, you don't even take care of yourself anymore. all you ever wear is blue jeans and sweatshirts, and your hair hangs in strings. you didn't look like that when i married you!" at which point i shot him in the chest with a copy of something by betty friedan and a book cannon. RIP, douchebag.

THE GROSS RACIST UNDERTONES:

• cute fiance is "all american," which we all know is code for white (because people of color aren't allowed to be totally american; they're fake, part american).
• it was super cute when as a child the daughter dragged around the neighborhood a little BLACK doll she called gertrude -- get it? she's WHITE! the doll was BLACK! kids. *benevolent head shake*

THE GROSS HOMOPHOBIC UNDERTONES:

• the host at the restaurant was "effeminate," y'all. our heroine is raising an eyebrow.

THE GENERAL GROSS EARLY-NINETIES BOURGEOIS/CHRISTIAN-RIGHT MORALS THAT ARE SUFFOCATING AND HATEFUL AND NARROW:

• mom: "i can't pretend this is anything but terrible, our only daughter and a shotgun wedding." oh, shut up. i'm sorry you're horrified. but once you're done pulling your perfectly coiffed head out of your ass, maybe you can realize that it's not all about you playing Real-Life Dollies and that your child needs your support as she navigates several major life changes simultaneously. m'kay?
• mom has been exclusively seeing "keith" for three years now but won't let keith spend the night, because her deadbeat nineteen-year-old, randy, might figure out she's sexually active. oh, sighhhhhhhhhhhhh. now i see why mom is so bent out of shape about daughter getting knocked up out of wedlock. THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT SEX HERE.

THE WEIRD, POORLY CHOSEN MOMENTS TO INFUSE BACKGROUND DETAIL WITH "ART":

• "on saturday night, bess took pains with her hair. It was nearly shoulder-length, its shades of blonde as varied as an October prairie.* she curled it only enough to give it lift, and pouffed it out behind her ears, where it billowed like the sleeves of a choir gown caught in the wind."

* book is set in greater minneapolis metropolitan area.



WHAT WE HAVE LEARNED FROM THE FIRST SIXTY-SEVEN PAGES OF THIS NOVEL:

• using labels and explicitly dressing your characters doesn't often paint them as the elegant paragons of style you want them to be, author: rather, it dates them immediately and shows the limits of your class experience, which can be awkward and weird and will immediately take bunches of your audience out of the story.
• same with descriptions of decor, popular-cultural icons, favorite brands and labels -- don't go into it unless you're cool with your book written in 2014 only sounding relevant 'til mid-2015.
• take a feminist-theory class. i'm not saying you can't have sexist complications and heartland mores in your book; i'm just saying you might not want to make it quite so clear you're CHAMPIONING them is all

*** HOMEWORK ***
watch the first season of Mad Men. now drive to broadway, go to TKTS, and watch Jersey Boys.

1. in which show were women treated as second-class citizens? (ANSWER: Both)
2. in which show were the writers AWARE they were treating women as second-class citizens? (ANSWER: Mad Men)
3. which show used the treatment of women as a commentary on sexism? (ANSWER: Mad Men
4. which show's writers had a used condom, a cracked leather jacket stinking of body odor, and a meatball sub where its sense of nuance and egalitarianism were supposed to be? (ANSWER: Jersey Boys)

now, go forth and kick ass, writers. and, self, be aware.

Suggestions to be taken with a grain of salt

Steve Jobs's Best Productivity Tips

the caustic-corporate-monster thing aside, herr jobs was massively productive. here are some of the ways he shaped his work life for maximum efficiency (just, you know, maybe don't do the whole verbally abusing coworkers thing?).

from http://lifehacker.com/steve-jobs-best-productivity-tricks-1632476352

1. Get rid of the crappy stuff and focus on what matters (make it easy to focus on what's important, which will probably mean saying no more often).
2. Delegate responsibilities (and don't multitask).
3. Get more life experiences (a diversity of experiences better informs your work and success).
4. Assess your life daily and change what you need to (if too many days in a row you're displeased with how you spend your day, it may be time to make some changes).

Thoughts, thoughts . . .

 

and one proposed response: http://jezebel.com/if-you-care-about-women-and-still-support-the-nfl-you-1631903485

Questions for Discussion:

1. Is a six-game suspension adequate punishment for a player who beats another person?
2. Especially considering some dude who smoked a joint was suspended for a year?
3. Why did the NFL wait to fire Ray Rice 'til the video -- which they'd previously seen and which squared with the accounts Rice and his wife had already given of the incident -- went public?
4. Is there room in the NFL for domestic abusers?
5. Is a boycott of the NFL throwing the baby out with the bath water?

Perhaps worth this if . . .

 

 

 

1. They come standard with a gold-foil liner 
2. They can calculate tax
3. Kate Middleton wore this exact pair while giving birth to Prince George
4. These pants made the Moon Landing -- without NASA assistance

I feel like chicken tonight

Grilled Chicken Souvlaki

From Cook's Illustrated | July/August 2014 at http://www.cooksillustrated.com/recipes/7978-grilled-chicken-souvlaki?extcode=LN14G4CAA

Why this recipe works:

Chicken souvlaki is almost always made with chunks of boneless skinless breasts, which have a marked tendency to dry out when grilled. To prevent this, we swap the traditional overnight soak in an acidic marinade for a quick 30-minute brine while the grill heats. We then toss the chunks of chicken in a flavorful mixture of lemon, olive oil, herbs, and honey right before grilling. To prevent the end pieces from overcooking, we protect the chicken by threading pepper and onion pieces on the ends. Once cooked, the chicken is tossed with reserved sauce to ensure that the exterior is brightly flavored and just as tender and moist as the interior.

Grilled Chicken Souvlaki

Bright lemon flavor and charred-yet-moist, evenly cooked meat are the hallmarks of good souvlaki. They’re also the hardest traits to get right. 

 

 

Serves 4 

This tzatziki is fairly mild; if you like a more assertive flavor, double the garlic. A rasp-style grater makes quick work of turning the garlic into a paste. We like the chicken as a wrap, but you may skip the pita and serve the chicken, vegetables, and tzatziki with rice. You will need four 12-inch metal skewers. For tips on wrapping the sandwich in foil, see related content.

Ingredients

Tzatziki Sauce 1 tablespoon lemon juice 

1 small garlic clove, minced to paste 

3/4 cup plain Greek yogurt 

1/2 cucumber, peeled, halved lengthwise, seeded, and diced fine (1/2 cup) 

3 tablespoons minced fresh mint 

1 tablespoon minced fresh parsley 

3/8 teaspoon salt 

 

Chicken Salt and pepper 

1 1/2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breasts, trimmed and cut into 1-inch pieces 

1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil 

2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley 

1 teaspoon finely grated lemon zest plus 1/4 cup juice (2 lemons) 

1 teaspoon honey 

1 teaspoon dried oregano 

1 green bell pepper, quartered, stemmed, seeded, each quarter cut into 4 chunks 

1 small red onion, ends trimmed, peeled, halved lengthwise, each half cut into 4 chunks 

4 (8-inch) pita breads

Preparation

1. FOR THE TZATZIKI SAUCE: Whisk lemon juice and garlic together in small bowl. Let stand for 10 minutes. Stir in yogurt, cucumber, mint, parsley, and salt. Cover and set aside. 
2. FOR THE CHICKEN: Dissolve 2 tablespoons salt in 1 quart cold water. Submerge chicken in brine, cover, and refrigerate for 30 minutes. While chicken is brining, combine oil, parsley, lemon zest and juice, honey, oregano, and 1/2 teaspoon pepper in medium bowl. Transfer 1/4 cup oil mixture to large bowl and set aside to toss with cooked chicken.
3. Remove chicken from brine and pat dry with paper towels. Toss chicken with remaining oil mixture. Thread 4 pieces of bell pepper, concave side up, onto one 12-inch metal skewer. Thread one-quarter of chicken onto skewer. Thread 2 chunks of onion onto skewer, and place skewer on plate. Repeat skewering remaining chicken and vegetables on 3 more skewers. Lightly moisten 2 pita breads with water. Sandwich 2 unmoistened pita breads between moistened pita breads and wrap stack tightly in lightly greased heavy-duty aluminum foil. 
4. FOR A CHARCOAL GRILL: Open bottom vent completely. Light large chimney starter mounded with charcoal briquettes (7 quarts). When top coals are partially covered with ash, pour evenly over half of grill. Set cooking grate in place, cover, and open lid vent completely. Heat grill until hot, about 5 minutes. 
5. FOR A GAS GRILL: Turn all burners to high, cover, and heat grill until hot, about 15 minutes. Leave primary burner on high and turn off other burner(s).
6. Clean and oil cooking grate. Place skewers on hotter side of grill and cook, turning occasionally, until chicken and vegetables are well browned on all sides and chicken registers 160 degrees, 15 to 20 minutes. Using fork, push chicken and vegetables off skewers into bowl of reserved oil mixture. Stir gently, breaking up onion chunks; cover with foil and let sit for 5 minutes.
7. Meanwhile, place packet of pitas on cooler side of grill. Flip occasionally to heat, about 5 minutes.
8. Lay each warm pita on 12-inch square of foil. Spread each pita with 2 tablespoons tzatziki. Place one-quarter of chicken and vegetables in middle of each pita. Roll into cylindrical shape and serve.

Marinate Twice
Briefly soaking the grilled chicken and vegetables in some reserved marinade before wrapping them in a pita rehydrates their dry exteriors and delivers bright citrus punch.

Softening Supermarket Pita

To soften up dry, tough supermarket pita, we moisten two of the breads with a little water and then stack them on either side of two unmoistened pieces. Then we steam the breads in a foil-wrapped stack on the cooler side of the grill while the cooked chicken rests.

A Vegetable Shield

The age-old problem with grilling meat on a stick: The end pieces overcook. We protect the chicken by threading pepper and onion pieces on the ends. The charred vegetables taste great in the sandwich, too.

I just *have* to finally buy a trifle dish already

Blackberry-Key Lime Trifle

 
From Cook's Country, August/September 2014, at http://www.cookscountry.com/recipes/8015-blackberry-key-lime-trifle?extcode=LN14H1KAA

Why this recipe works:

To create this refreshing summer dessert, we make a no-cook pudding with fresh lime juice, sugar, cream cheese, condensed milk, and a secret ingredient: instant vanilla pudding. After the pudding has thickened and chilled in the fridge, we layer it with graham crackers and plump fresh blackberries. Decorated with fresh lime slices, this trifle makes for an impressive end to any meal.

Serves 12 

Ingredients

1/4 cup (1 3/4 ounces) granulated sugar 

1 tablespoon grated lime zest plus 1 cup juice (8 limes), plus 5 limes sliced 1/8 inch thick 

8 ounces cream cheese, softened 

1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk 

1/3 cup instant vanilla pudding mix 

1 teaspoon vanilla extract 

12 whole graham crackers, broken in half 

1 recipe Large-Batch Lightly Sweetened Whipped Cream (see below) 

30 ounces (6 cups) blackberries

 

Instructions

1. FOR THE FILLING: Process sugar and lime zest in food processor until sugar turns bright green, about 30 seconds. Set aside 2 teaspoons lime sugar. Add cream cheese to remaining lime sugar and process until combined, about 30 seconds. Add condensed milk and pudding mix and process until smooth, about 30 seconds, scraping down sides of bowl as needed. With processor running, add lime juice and vanilla and process until thoroughly combined, about 30 seconds. Transfer custard to bowl, cover with plastic wrap, and refrigerate until thickened, about 1 hour.
2. TO ASSEMBLE: Shingle 12 cracker halves along bottom of 3 1/2-quart trifle dish or glass bowl. Arrange half of lime slices upright around bottom of dish, wedged between cracker halves and wall of dish. Spread 1 1/2 cups custard in even layer over cracker halves, followed by 2 cups whipped cream. Sprinkle 5 cups blackberries in even layer over whipped cream. Shingle 11 cracker halves over blackberries along edge of trifle and place remaining 1 cracker half in center. Arrange remaining lime slices upright around dish. Spread remaining custard over cracker halves, followed by remaining 2 cups whipped cream. Cover with plastic and refrigerate for at least 6 hours or up to 24 hours. Just before serving, arrange remaining 1 cup blackberries in center of trifle and sprinkle top of trifle with reserved lime sugar.

Large-Batch Lightly Sweetened Whipped Cream

From Cook's Country | June/July 2014, at http://www.cookscountry.com/recipes/7965-large-batch-lightly-sweetened-whipped-cream

 

Why this recipe works:

We found that chilled heavy cream is easier to whip and get to peak-form more quickly than if left at room temperature. Just a bit of vanilla extract sweetens the whipped cream but doesn't make it cloying.

Makes 4 cups 

Ingredients

2 cups heavy cream, chilled 2 teaspoons sugar 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Preparation

1. Using stand mixer fitted with whisk, whip cream, sugar, and vanilla on medium-low speed until foamy, about 1 minute. 
2. Increase speed to high and whip until stiff peaks form, 1 to 3 minutes.