Does your home have a boo-boo?

the following is the quiz apartment therapist Maxwell Gillingham-Ryan puts to clients before helping them fix their apartments -- making them more comfortable, soothing, efficient, pleasant spaces that best reflect their owners' personalities and meet their needs.

The Quiz (you can substitute house for apartment, if need be) . . .

Favorites
List your favorite in each category:

• actress
• actor
• artist
• writer
• music
• restaurant
• automobile
• television show
• clothing (designer or store)

How would you describe your style (3 words)?

1.  
2.  
3.  

Personal History
Where have you lived?
      Where you were born:
      Where you grew up:
      As an adult:

Whom would you consider a role model?

What three adjectives describe the qualities that you admire in this person?

1.  
2.  
3.  

Apartment
What is the problem with your apartment (3 words)?

1.  
2.  
3.  

If your apartment could speak, what would it say is the problem?

What one thing would you like to do or do more of in your apartment?

Eight weeks from now, when this project is done, if friends came to visit, how would you like them to describe your home (3 words)?

1.  
2.  
3.  

Key: Answering quickly = quick decision maker (need directing)
Answering slowly = extremely careful decision maker (need pushing)
Leaving blanks = weak sense of personal style (need to imitate)
Too many answers = want to fit a lot in, may have trouble with clutter (need editing)
Answers are very eclectic = style may not be focused or you may be conflicted about how you want to be perceived (need to be clarified)
Difficulty naming an artist or clothing = more analytical and less visually oriented (need to look at a lot of pictures to improve visual knowledge)


Analyzing the Whole of Your Home (answer yes or no)
Head (the purpose of your home)

1. Does your home support everything you want to do?
2. Do you use your home often?
3. Is there a room for everything you want to do at home?
4. Is there a good space for what is most important to you?

Heart (the emotional life of your home -- the elements that give it passion)

1. Do you consider your home beautiful?
2. Do you feel you have a sense of style?
3. Does y our clothing express your sense of style?
4. Does your home express your style?

Breath (the arrangement of your home -- the flow through each room and how you make space for each of the activities that you want to take place within them)

1. Do you consider your home comfortable?
2. Do you sleep well at night?
3. Is your apartment organized?
4. Is it easy to clean and declutter?

Bones (the physical structure of your home)

1. Do you consider your home to be in good shape?
2. Is everything in good working order?
3. Do you take care of repairs quickly?
4. Do you clean your home often?

FINAL SCORE (number of yeses):

Key (number of times you answered yes):

12–14: Excellent health. Invigorating. Occasional updating and ongoing maintenance are all that is needed.

9–11: Health. Comfortable. Could use improvement in at least one area and toning all around.

4–8: Weak. Energy drain. Visible problems in need of work have probably been put off for a long time.

0–3: Very ill. Depressing. Serious problems that are harmful to your health.

from Maxwell Gillingham-Ryan, Apartment Therapy: The Eight-Step Home Cure (New York: Bantam, 2006).

Boo, House Beautiful

today my Pinterest feed featured a series of pins from a House Beautiful article titled "13 Things a Woman Should NEVER Have in Her Home."

i automatically recoiled at the gendered language ("really? are there THAT many vagina-centric rules to decorating my house? and here i'd thought my lady organs had NOTHING to do with choosing a throw pillow . . . silly me . . ."). but as i read more and more pins, my blood began to boil.

this last post accompanied by a picture of a tray of eye makeup: 

 

(TRANSLATION: "you're an ugly hag, so naturally NEVER appear WITHOUT your face spackle, but, by god, don't admit to using it either!")

it's So. Gross. house beautiful could have saved us a lot of time and advised us to simply "ignore what YOU want, dear. your instincts are repellant and reveal you to be the desperate, dried-up hag you are. if you EVER want to capture a man -- and every one of your efforts should be geared toward capturing a man, you sad sack -- you will have to feint, deceive, and deny thyself, crone subhuman gross person!"

yuck. YUCK, Yuck, yuck. and here i was thisclose to sending in my house beautiful subscription renewal (i had my eye on a cute little red toile tote they offer with every renewal).

boo, terrible advice givers. retire your opinions and go think about what you've done.

Shit's getting real, yo

 

#PatrickBateman

Please do not go to the trouble

i should hate to think of your exterting yourself entirely on my behalf . . .

#No,Really,PleaseDon't

Pinterest Rorschach

so, clearly My Style is sufficiently "sad granny" that pinterest thinks i will find the following awesome:

 

and i'm all, "eff you, pinterest! i'm too YOUNG for a calcium deficiency!"

but then they go send me this . . .

. . . and it's all good.

#MoreThanMeetsTheEye

Do YOU believe in life after love?

TRUE STORY: when i first saw this pin, i thought, "well, SOMEONE is a fan of Moonstruck . . ."

 

#ReadingComprehensionForTheWin

Baaaaaaaaffling

i don't have to understand this pin to know it's awesome.

#ReasonForTheSeason

A'ight, bees, it's June 25 -- too late to start planning for Christmas '14??

this, for some reason, is vaguely menacing to me . . .

At this point in time . . .

. . . this house represents my style very, very well -- a super simple palette of whites, charcoals, blacks, and tans; tons of patina, especially through black-painted trim, aged and abused wood, and shots of metals (preferably brass); and a curated but not overstuffed look.

i like so very much of this house.

from http://www.housebeautiful.com/decorating/house-pictures/black-victorian-screen-door#slide-1

Not what I expected

so, this is one of the images google sent back to me when i searched for "tuxedo kitchen":

kind of makes you wonder what's out there for "lazy susan" . . .

Where's the "star I wonder"

 

mio albero di natale.

i need my guy to put up the stella, though. i'm too stumpy to reach.

Best miscellaneous- and bargain-shopping web sites

overstock.com
Designer clothes and shoes, furniture, sporting goods, electronics, luggage―what doesn’t this site carry? Everything is discounted, and almost all the merchandise qualifies for free shipping.

smartbargains.com
A veritable bargain bazaar. Normally pricey goods (like cashmere scarves and Egyptian-cotton sheets) can be picked up at a fraction of their cost elsewhere―up to 70 percent off.

Miscellaneous
duluthtrading.com
Once upon a time, this company was all about tools for construction workers and longshoremen. Now it offers everything from grooming products to toys to toothbrushes for dogs―and tradesmen-tested gear―with a real commitment to customer service.

minimus.biz
Thousands of mini-size products―three ounces or less―make travel a breeze. A brilliant idea.

organicbouquet.com
Pesticide-free blooms from organic farms, some with an added bonus of proceeds going to nonprofit groups partnered with the site.

seacloth.com
Fabrics in poppy tones (and a small collection of home goods) are organized by color, so it’s easy to find what suits your palette.

seejanework.com
The most stylish office supplies and organizational tools ever. 

courtesy of Real Simple

Best gift-shopping web sites

bestcrystal.com
The kind of wedding presents (Waterford, Lenox) you would buy at department stores but often cheaper and with free shipping, no tax, and personal customer service.

dwellstudio.com
Quiet simplicity is the hallmark of the bed linens, table linens, and children’s gifts you’ll find here. Wonderful for out-of-the-ordinary wedding presents.

etsy.com
The place to buy (and sell) one-of-a-kind gifts and inexpensive handmade arts and crafts.

fredflare.com
This stylish emporium offers low-cost clothing, accessories, and home goods, all with a sense of humor.

spoonsisters.com
A much loved source for gifts of a whimsical nature, including―you guessed it―spoons of all kinds.

2jane.com
Based in Britain and quirky, this site features inventive items you may have a hard time giving away.

wrapables.com
Gifts for the home, for the jewelry lover, and even for pets and their owners. Fun and extremely affordable. 

courtesy of Real Simple

Best cooking- and food-shopping web sites

chefshop.com
Picture an online supermarket with the most delectable gourmet items. A highlight: Batch’s Best Cherries, which can be ordered all year but are shipped only in July, at the height of their perfection.

ecookbooks.com
A comprehensive depot of cookbooks―more than 14,000 titles―all offered at discount prices.

froghollow.com
The California-based fruit purveyor (its gorgeous peaches have reached icon status) sells delicious fruit spreads and pastries as well.

ginnys.com
Cookware, appliances, and more on a site with reasonable prices and a friendly vibe.

kingarthurflour.com 
A wonderful source for bakers of all levels. It’s famous for flour, but you can also find cake and bread mixes, molds, pans, liners, chocolate chips, books, and more on this cheerful site.

wmboundsltd.com
Pepper mills (and the peppercorns to put in them) are the specialty here, from a company that has been producing the tools for more than 40 years.

zingermans.com
Unusual, old-fashioned, and delicious food finds from all over the country and the world. 

courtesy of Real Simple

Best home-goods shopping web sites

allmodern.com
One-stop shopping for contemporary home goods in an easy-to-browse, simply designed site.

ballarddesigns.com
This sprawling site, with a vast inventory at reasonable prices, is a favorite resource of interior decorators.

brocadehome.com
From Restoration Hardware comes a site full of sexy, curvy, ultra-feminine furnishings.

circalighting.com
Indoor lights, outdoor lights, table lights, floor lights, ceiling lights―and shades―all with free shipping.

designerplumbing.com
A wide-ranging collection of tubs, sinks, vanities, and more to redecorate your bath. Fabulous prices―there's even a section of "blowout specials"―and top-notch customer service.

hableconstruction.com
This sister-owned textile company offers totes, pillows, and other high-quality goods in fun, colorful prints.

homeinfatuation.com
If you're lucky enough to have a patio and a yard, you'll find everything you need to furnish your outdoor space―furniture, umbrellas, grills―here.

laylagrayce.com
Home furnishings (plus clothing for women and children) from around the world, all with a romantic sensibility.

moderndose.com
Reasonably priced reproductions of modern furniture classics, with free shipping and a money-back guarantee.

2modern.com
As streamlined as the modern furniture it carries, this site features the work of eco-conscious designers.

thpcollections.com
Decorative accessories and furniture with a global viewpoint, from sources as equally far-flung.

ugallery.com
Original artwork at every price. A view-on-wall feature lets you try before you buy, so you have an idea of how a work of art will look in your home.

unicahome.com
An eclectic roundup of modern, vintage, and kitsch from big names like Knoll and Herman Miller.

velocityartanddesign.com
Simple, clean, and graphic designs―from artwork to wallpaper―at affordable prices.

wisteria.com
Bright and simply laid out, this site features new, antique, and artfully weathered imports from across the globe. 

courtesy of Real Simple

Imagination

Stuck? Four Things Killing Your Creativity

by Leigh Newman
from http://www.oprah.com/spirit/4-Reasons-Youre-Not-Writing-the-Book-Youre-Meant-to-Write

1. I know I have a creative force in me—that I can write or paint or play music—but I don't have a specific idea for a book or a painting or composition. How can I find an idea?
Many people feel the urge to do something creative but can't get themselves started. When they come into our office, they almost all say the same thing: "I know I have the ability. If only I knew exactly what I want to do—paint, write, sculpt—I'd have no trouble getting started." So they wait for that magical idea that will inspire them to begin . . . but it never seems to come.

New ideas don't come to those who wait and think; they come to those who act. Let's say you want to write a screenplay. To find an idea that you like, you must be already writing. Pick a story that feels "wrong"—those are always easier to find than ones that feel "right." Write a brief summary of the story and make sure you finish it. Then pick another story and do the same thing.

For most people, it's so painful to be wrong they can't act. They need to accept, in fact to desire, the pain of being wrong. But when you're willing to be wrong, you take your ego out of the creative process, and that's when the unconscious will reward you with an idea that turns you on.

2. I have a specific idea, and some talent and training, but every time I sit down to write/paint/play, I freeze up. Why? And what can I do?
Freezing when you sit down to work by yourself is the same thing as freezing in front of an audience. In both cases you're crippled by the fear of what people think of you. The only difference is that here, the audience is in your head, a hypothetical group of people that will judge your work in the future. You can almost feel their eyes on you while you try to work. How can an imaginary audience have such a paralyzing effect?

The answer is that deep down you feel you have to be perfect to win validation. That's impossible. In fact, there's a strange truth about human creativity: The most creative part of you is also the most imperfect. This part of you is called "the shadow."

When you try to be perfect in order to win the validation of the audience, all you do is freeze your Shadow out of the creative process. You've silenced the most creative part of your self.

The solution is to invite the Shadow back into the process—to identify and accept it. This requires you to accept the worst, in whatever form that comes: write the worst sentence, paint the worst portrait, play as off-key as you can. Once you do this, the Shadow feels accepted and its creativity will take over.

 

3. Is it good to talk out your ideas and plans with someone? Sometimes when I talk about them too much I don't actually finish them.
It's natural to talk about the ideas that turn you on creatively; there's an excitement that comes from telling those around you how you intend to bring those ideas into being. Over a long period of time, though, I've observed that those who talk the most produce the least.

At first glance, this may seem strange: The talkers seem to be filled with such energy, but their energy isn't directed toward creating; its purpose is to get others to pay attention to them, to notice their greatness. This is a search for immediate gratification not much different from a craving for sugar or nicotine. 

A real creative process isn't immediately gratifying. It's frustrating, mysterious and uncertain. The talkers can't tolerate this process; they're addicted to the fast high.

The solution? When a talker feels the urge to discuss her work with others, she needs to see it as a cue to keep her mouth shut. She has to train herself to do without immediate gratification, and as she does, she'll find the strength to tolerate the unpleasant parts of the creative process.

4. And the biggie: How do I make that sniveling, critical, "Who the hell do you think you are?" voice in my head shut up?
I thought that voice was only in my head.

Just kidding. Everyone who has tried to achieve anything has to contend with that self-hating voice. It's natural to try to argue with it, but this never works. It's one of those maddening situations in which logic is impotent. The only effective solution is to turn off the voice altogether.

But we're actually reluctant to do that. Human beings are quite attached to their opinions of themselves. It makes us feel secure to know who we are, even if we know we're no good.

There's only one antidote: We need to feel the presence of something much bigger than ourselves, something that loves and values us without reservation. Only then can we let go of our inner critic.

While searching for Christmas ornaments

i don't think this would work if you had a dog.

And more of these, please

(here)

More plus happy Ecksmuss

mmmmm. more ornaments and doodads found.

Love lists